"What took you so long?"

Nothing works better than a warm cup of coffee to re-energise my fatigued body and tired soul.No textbooks,no one,nothing can prepare me for the life that follows my graduation.As doctors in the government hospitals,we practically have to slog through the days and nights to see to that patients are being taken care off.To hell those policymakers,all talk and no act.They are up there,among the people I hated most,he modern vampires,sucking public funds into their own pockets.I have been hoping for a change in the mindsets of since I was in medical school and now,I am still hoping.... I look at the black fuel that drives my body and soul beyond my limits,swirling slowly and taking up the sweet aroma that rises.How much I long for a leisure sit-and-read at the Coffeebean and Tea Leaf cafe.It has been almost three years since I last been there.Ah....those times.How I miss them.I take a sip from the cup of hot coffee.I don't know how long it will keep me awake enough to tend to the patients.I close my eyes and lean back on the couch.My thoughts wander back to the time I went scuba-diving in my first year at the medical school.The sand,the trees,the winds,the sea,I can almost feel them.Slowly I drifted into sleep.. "Tick tock,Tick tock" I wake up to the sound of the clock right across the staff lounge.I clear my bleary eyes and have a look at the offending clock.It is 3.17 a.m.I have been asleep for almost half an hour.Looks like the effects of coffees are wearing off.I have experienced a lot of first since I chose to study medicine years ago.My first patient,my first setting of drip,my first call,my first surgery and the list goes on.Today,I have experienced another first......my first patient death.It bites my heart more as this is one patient I have a very good rapport with. She is a very determined woman.Her history tells it all.She migrated to the then Malaya with her husband in hope for a good life.She suffered and slogged a lot for the sake of her children.The meals normally consisted of porridge and salted fish.Despite her hardship,she emphasized a lot on education for her children.Then,her labours finally bore fruits.Her children managed to get decent jobs and give her a decent and comfortable life.However,the early years spent slogging to make ends meet had taken a toll on her.She developed athritis,followed by diabetes melitus.Adding to the diabetes melitus,she developed hypertension,which is also partly due to her high salt intake in her early years.Nevertheless,she fought on,stayed away from the food she was deprived of in her early years,exercised regularly and the pain in her aging joints.If it is a battlefield,she would have fought a valiant battle and triumphed over the enemy.Unfortunately,it is a battefield nevertheless,but her enemy is time or rather death.This is one enemy even the strongest will succumb to.Today,she has lost.A patient dying under your watch is bad enough a feeling.To lose a patient and a beloved grandmother in the same night,I personally have no word for it.... I am really tired at times,sometimes,no matter how hard I try,something will never change.Like the girl I used to pursue endlessly,like the efforts I put into study,like the protests against the policymakers,like today.The sobbing of a man resonates throughout the lonely,dark corridor,breaking the silence of the night.This is the sobbing of one man who doesn't make a noise when the doctor is stitching,the sobbing of a man who can pull out the three bee stings on his body,the sobbing of a man who is a hero in my life,the sobbing of my dear father.It is too sudden,death comes with no warning,and leaves without no crying. I close my eyes once again,running through the events that has unfolded over the past hour.Can I have done anything better?Just as my mind about to turn to all the "what if" scenarios,a loud shout by one of the nurse brought me to my feet."DOCTOR!!!DOCTOR!!!WARD 5B!!!"Immediately I run to the specified ward.There is no time for emotion,I am still on duty.The ward seem so far away even though it is just three rooms away. I come to a sudden stop to see a beautiful lady smiling at the baby in her arms.I almost forgot,my beloved wife went into labour 2 hours ago.Cuddled in her arms is a newborn sleeping soundly to the hym by my wife.It is our second kid after three years of marriage.Seeing my presence,she spoke, "What took you so long?" I collapse into her arms and weep.... P.S. It is a fiction